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Women are prone to giving away their power when it comes to their money. In my financial coaching and interaction with women and money over the years, I’ve seen the smartest, strongest women do this over and over. This has got to stop in our time so that the younger women who are watching us are not afraid to own their power around their money. The risk is too huge to not own your own financial wellbeing.
Takeaway From Personal Experience
For years, I have struggled with this same power. On the one hand, I have been drawn to investing since my early twenties. On the other hand, I struggled with internal demons that pulled me away from my passion around investing. They led me to make mistakes with my money, underutilizing my skills and strengths, and not living fully. Then one day I chose to stop. In this post, I’ll show you the steps I took that I have also used with my financial coaching clients.
Finding The Cure…
Are you growing your money to the best of your ability? Do you make less than you know you can? Are you playing small? Does the word wealth make you cringe? If so, there’s a very good reason. There’s also a cure. Let’s dig in.
Step 1: Notice the mistake
Here are some common money mistakes that women make…
- You bought the $500 dress on your credit card that you had vowed to stop using and pay off.
- You pretended to understand how your money was invested when you met with your financial advisor.
- Your net worth dropped 50% even though you knew you had too much money in the stock market.
- You knew the home purchase was a little too expensive based on your income, and now you feel pinched every month to maintain your standard of living.
- You didn’t feel comfortable with handing over your life savings to your husband’s golf buddy, but you did it anyway. Now your investments aren’t growing, and you don’t want to offend anyone.
- Your friend’s cousin offered to pay you for your consulting work, but it felt wrong to take her money.
Noticing the mistake is just that. It doesn’t involve beating yourself up. Be detached from the mistake. This will allow you to solve it. Beating yourself up will lead to feeling bad and staying in negative patterns. You’ll feel defeated.
Forgiving Mistakes
Odds are you make the same mistake over and over, year after year. We often pretend not to know what the mistake is, but we know deep inside. When you allow yourself to simply notice your mistakes, instead of self-bashing, you are free to improve your actions. You avoid your own wrath. Be forgiving and loving to yourself.
As you’ll see in the remainder of this post over the next two weeks, there is a reason for your money mistakes. When you nail that reason, you can change your money mistakes to positive actions. What are your common money mistakes?
Discover the 3 Investing Myths that sabotage wealth building for investors here now in my free guide.
Step 2: Dig to the Source of the Mistake…
You have, hopefully, come clean with your money mistakes by now. In today’s post, we’ll delve into Step 2. This little process will allow you to do some free financial coaching on yourself while stepping into your power.
Below, I have repeated the above scenarios, typical thought processes with money power avoidance, and common excuses.
- You bought the $500 dress on your credit card that you had vowed to stop using and pay off.
You felt pressured by the sale person once she helped you and told you how great the dress looked on you.
It’s her fault.
- The dress was a designer dress marked down 50%, so it was a great purchase.
You’re saving money.
You’ll miss out!
- You pretended to understand how your money was invested when you met with your financial advisor.
You know so little about investing, you are afraid you’ll look stupid if you ask questions. Plus, you don’t even know what to ask.
Who has time to learn about investing? Besides, you leave your life savings to a pro to manage for you so you don’t need to know anything about it.
- Your net worth dropped 50% even though you knew you had too much money in the stock market.
You “heard’ from top financial experts in the news that you should have your money in the stock market if you want to have enough money to retire one day.
The financial experts are supposed to know, not you!
- You knew the home purchase was a little too expensive based on your income, and now you feel pinched and stressed every month to maintain your standard of living.
Your kids and husband loved the house! They were all so excited. How could you ruin it for them?
You thought for sure your household income would continue to rise, but then the recession hit. It’s the economy’s fault you’re struggling! (And the government! The big bank should have forewarned you that the house was too expensive.)
- You didn’t feel comfortable with handing over your life savings to your husband’s golf buddy but did it anyway. Now your investments aren’t growing, and you don’t want to offend anyone.
Your husband did have a good point that you could trust someone you know not to steal your money.
Your husband had a great point. Besides, you don’t really know enough about investing to hire a financial advisor.
- Your friend’s cousin offered to pay you for your consulting work, but it felt wrong to take her money.
Now you’re frustrated that you aren’t utilizing your skills to increase your income.
You were taught that you should help others. Besides, that’s how you are; it’s in your nature.
This should be leading to some money ahas by now. Next week I’ll post why we do these seemingly crazy things that feel so right at the time.