Women And Money Habits…
Do you have secrets lurking in your financial closet? You’re not alone. When it comes to women and money, there’s a crazy disconnect. Women are in the leadership forefront more than ever, yet studies continue to show they’re not confident about investing their money. This leads to unhealthy money habits because we avoid what we don’t feel good about.
Guilt and shame are at the core of most unhealthy money habits. For something that can do so much good in the world, it’s crazy that there are so many unhealthy emotions tied to money. But there are, and there’s a reason for them. In this post, I’ll address those reasons with the hope that you’ll tackle your money fears head on.
What lurks for you?
Is it a deep and somehow shameful secret that you’re not handling your money as well as you could? Or that you’re not as involved as you know you “should” be? Or that your cash flow is sometimes, or always negative? Or that you have a bunch of debt for luxury cars or clothes? Or that you don’t go to meetings with your financial adviser? Or you don’t know how your money is really invested because it seems too big and complex and your brain is already super full of other stuff and you know that someone else will deal with it…while knowing deep inside that you need to know more to oversee your money management confidently?
You’re not alone, especially when it comes to women and money!
You may sometimes feel like you’re alone in your money imperfection since no one ever talks about it, but almost everyone has money secrets that are a reflection of not handling their money as well as they know that they can. Why is this? Money is powerful because it provides so much, yet for some weird reason it’s not discussed. And there’s a weird energy around money, even among the closest family members.
This money avoidance leads to misleading beliefs and confusion for children that carry into adulthood. These in congruent messages breed invalid perceptions about money. Later in life, these unrecognized and erroneous childhood beliefs affect, usually negatively, the way you handle your ability to make, grow and keep money. In fact, they can be detrimental to your very existence.
Get Rid of The “Somethings”
You may have already sensed deep in your soul that you have all of the abilities needed to create real and lasting wealth in your life, but “something” always prevents you from reaching your definition of true financial satisfaction. Here’s the thing: Those “somethings” are actually potent but sneaky saboteurs of financial independence. They come disguised as being too busy to take small steps to create the life you really want, or feelings of undeserving, unworthiness, or not being capable. They may relate to investing your money, or increasing your income.
These sly saboteurs are different for everyone. Maybe your saboteur takes the form of blaming your spouse, parents, the government, or your boss for your lack of money. Or could blatant avoidance of knowing how much money you have, where it is exactly, or understanding how it’s invested be your saboteur because deep down you think women “shouldn’t” know about money? This lack of awareness destroys your confidence, along with your financial security. Procrastination, playing small, and even illness are other common but unpopular money saboteurs.
Recognize The Disguise
What disguise is your money saboteur playing? Confession: I am no stranger to playing small and avoidance. I know most all of the saboteur disguises because, as a human, and certainly as a woman with deep childhood roots from the 1960’s, they are ingrained into my being from a time when women and money were about as taboo as four letter words. There was just something not quite right about women and money.
Discouragement & Lack of Confidence
Could it have been that money was, and still is, power? Is it possible that power from women was discouraged in the 1960’s and 1970’s, as it had been for previous millenniums? Is it possible that your mom heard those almost silent but hugely instinctual and influential whisperings from your grandma, who picked these up from her grandma, who picked up on them from her grandma, and on and on forever?
Was the message that power, women and money just don’t belong together? Yes, I think this is very, very possible. It’s beyond possible; it’s likely, and it’s likely that this phenomenon affects almost every single women alive today, regardless of age. I hear the lack of confidence from women in their early thirties who make good money from their careers or have inherited wealth, and I hear it from otherwise confident women over fifty.
Being The Change
The great news is that you can be a potent catalyst for change around women and money and power. You can be a model for the younger generation of women. This will also create joy in your own life in many ways in the form of confidence and clarity.
There’s just not much to lose by choosing and embracing your own empowering beliefs around money. You can choose to believe that money is good, not evil, that you deserve money, and that you’re capable of taking good care of your money. Those new beliefs will lead to actions that support them in a very good way.
When you choose power around money, you can choose to create the life that you want from a place of certainty about your money. Because when you know the where, how much, and how involved with your money, you have certainty. It’s clear. And when it’s clear, you know if you need to radically change the path that you’re on, or if you just need to just tweak it a bit. Or maybe you just need to stay on your current path because it’s getting you where you want to be, which is joyful in itself.
Only when you know the change needed to achieve financial freedom, if any, you can choose to do it. And when you have all of this clarity and certainty, you can commit to creating what you want. And from this awareness and commitment, you are truly free from that deep, deep nagging worry that you’ll outlive your money. It’s that gut wrenching fear that, according to research on women and money, nearly half of all women in the U.S. have, but avoid discussing. (1)
Take The First Step
The first step to this fulfilling financial certainty and peace is breaking free of that garbage in your head that’s just not true. It’s dated; it’s so incredibly unhealthy, and it can truly ruin your life. It is directly responsible for playing small, settling for less and for damaging money avoidance, weak delegation and uninformed leadership of your own money. That’s the wonderful asset that pays for your mortgage, feeds your family and keeps your lights on. Money’s truly beautiful thing. Not having it can definitely lead to that above referenced HUGE fear of becoming the bag lady without money, home, or God forbid, a decent wardrobe.
Remember, these false beliefs are usually so deep in your subconscious mind that you have no awareness of them whatsoever, but they can, and do, sabotage your efforts to have the life you want. Now, some individuals are driven to remarkable success as a result of atrocious childhood financial situations. More often, however, people allow old and invalid money beliefs to control their actions in a way that keeps them stuck in negative habits around their money that were picked up by subtle, even silent, messages.
Here’s the best news ever: Address your mindset around money, and you can move forward today. This doesn’t take years of therapy. You can start creating positive change right now, literally in a few minutes.
Simply discover why you keep repeating the same money mistakes by looking into your deep rooted beliefs by reflecting on this area. You probably already know what you’re doing that is causing financial discomfort, at a minimum. Answer this question now: What were the attitudes and beliefs, spoken or not, in your childhood home about money?
Self-Awareness & Reflection
Now, sometimes it’s hard to get started because it can feel like parent bashing or it can be horribly guilt inducing. Odds are that this issue has much more to do with ancestors you don’t even know, and prevailing societal attitudes (like women, money and forbidden power) than about your parents. So honor yourself, and honor them by becoming all that you can become. Be the confident and wonderfully self-aware woman that you were born to become by taking five minutes now to reflect. Can you just do it now for you, and for future generations of women?
The real problem is all this money negativity in your head may have kept you from achieving your financial goals. Or maybe you don’t KNOW if you’re on track to outlive your money. This is even scarier. Click here to see if you’re on track to outlive your money, and to make your money outlive you.
Source: Allianz Life